Time-Out Tactics For Triumph

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Hearing mixed opinions about how to discipline your child can be stressful. Let's clarify the myths surrounding the commonly used method of time-out and present trustworthy information, which provides effective ways to use this parental strategy to achieve a healthier relationship with your child.

Time-out is considered an effective parental discipline strategy used to help children with behavioral problems. It involves removing the child to a quiet or calming area where the parent explains the reason for the time-out, waiting until he or she has calmed down, and helping them understand why their behavior was inappropriate. This strategy can be used primarily with children between the ages of 5 and 8 years but has been proven effective within other age groups, including teens. Many parenting programs support the time-out strategy as long as it is being used in a positive, harmless, and the recommended way by the parents. Although there is strong research that supports this effective discipline method, many still believe it is extremely harmful to children.

The Common Myths of Time Out

  • The severity of impact on the brain when a child is in time-out is the same as when a child endures physical pain. There is no research that supports or has proven that this claim is true.
  • It fails to teach the child any useful skills. Research supports the fact that time-outs help reduce inappropriate or dangerous behavior in children. It can also assist the child in regulating their emotions, which means learning how to control them.
  • It is a strategy that weakens the bond between the parent and child. Research indicates that time-outs can enhance the bond between parents and children, and children even view them as a legitimate strategy. 
  •  It does not address the main causes of the child’s misconduct. The overall goal of time-out is to address the child’s conduct. The child learns to properly handle difficult or irritating situations. 
Common Mistakes to Avoid During Time-Out

  • Acting out of anger when placing the child in time-out. The most common mistake is for the parent to act out of frustration, which can impact the effectiveness of the strategy.
  • Focusing on the child rather than on the child’s behavior. An example of this could be saying, “You are such a disrespectful child” or “You are a disappointment.”
  • Giving up halfway through when practicing the parental strategy. This could involve taking the child out of time-out before they have calmed down.
  • Implementing threats or warnings to the child. An example of this would be using phrases such as “If you don’t stop yelling at me, you are going straight to time-out!”

Helpful Tips to Conduct a Time-Out Successfully

  1.  The most important step to take before applying the time-out method is to ensure that you, as the caregiver, are calm. It can be challenging at times, but as you play your role as a model to your child, it can be helpful that he or she sees your calm reaction to the situation.
  2. Try to limit time-out to about 1 to 5 minutes, unless the child has not yet calmed down. Leaving them for much longer has not been proven to increase their effectiveness.
  3.  Make use of positive comments towards your child. It is important to not humiliate or threaten your child. Point out or remind them of moments where they demonstrated good behavior, acknowledge their efforts in doing so, and encourage that appropriate behavior.
  4. Only use time-out in certain situations, such as if the child is causing harm to another child or person, causing harm to himself or herself, destroying another person’s property, or participating in a dangerous activity that you have given instructions to avoid, like running into the street several times.
  5.  Once you place your child in time-out, remember to explain to the child the reason for their time-out and state the expectations you desire from the child, and carefully attend to the child’s feelings.
  6.  It is helpful to provide stress- or anxiety-relieving fidgets to help your child calm down. You can also give your child an emotion chart where he or she can point to how they are feeling when placed in time-out.
  7. Lastly, it is important to have a comfortable, loving, and encouraging environment where the child can feel secure.


References:
Morawska, A., & Sanders, M. (n.d.). Parental Use of Time Out Revisited: A Useful or Harmful Parenting Strategy? Journal of Child and Family Studies, 20(1), 1–8. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-010-9371-x
Canning, M. G., Jugovac, S., & Pasalich, D. S. (2021). An updated account on parents’ use of and attitudes towards Time-Out. Child Psychiatry & Human Development, 54(2), 436–449. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10578-021-01252-0

 








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